Fire is Catching
by Maddy17171717
Summary: "I want it to be real, too." What if Katniss had realized her feelings for Peeta before Mockingjay? What if the Quarter Quell had been different? What about the Rebellion? This is what might have happened if things had been different. *Disclaimer- All original Hunger Games characters belong to Suzanne Collins* Rated T for violence because its the Hunger Games... duh.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- This story starts off at the end of the Victory Tour. The first chapter is not my best, it was hard going through Katniss's thought process to get to the conclusion. And sorry if it seems rushed, I'm anxious to start writing the next part. The other chapters will be better, and not as OOC. This is my first fanfiction, and I'm a bit new at this, so bear with me. Anyways, hope you like it!**

 **~Maddy**

Chapter 1

Katniss POV:

We finish the Victory Tour, and Peeta and I are officially engaged. I don't want to think about how I feel about that.

One night, about 3 days after we get back, my mother makes us dinner. Promptly after she finishes, she announces that she is tired, and goes upstairs to bed, leaving Prim and I to wash the dishes.

"I'll wash, you dry," she suggests. I nod.

After a minute of comfortable silence, Prim says, "So you and Peeta are going to be married, huh?"

I gulp, thinking about it. "Yes," I manage to squeak out.

After a bit, she asks, "Do you love him?"

I freeze, clutching the dish as if holding on for dear life. "I don't know," I whisper, not sure whether I'm talking to her or saying this for myself.

Prim bites he bottom lip, eyebrows narrowing, thinking.

Suddenly she asks, "You love me, right?" I nod bewildered. I had thought this was blatantly obvious. She continues, "Now imagine losing me. Imagine how you would feel and what you would do." I look at her like she's crazy. She rolls her eyes at me and says, "Just do it."

I close my eyes. What she doesn't know is that I've already imagined this once before, in the split second of panic before I volunteered. I would shut down, unable to function. I wouldn't talk, walk, eat, sleep, nothing. I would want to die myself. I would shut out the world, unable to process anything, unable to cry. I don't know if I'd ever be the same. I grimace, opening my eyes, reassuring myself that she's here, that she's ok, that she's safe.

"Now imagine loosing Peeta."

I have imagined this, too, right before holding out those berries. Not for very long, I just remember deciding that it was not an option, that I would not allow it to happen. I'm fairly sure I would shut down as well. Peeta helps hold me together, helps keep me sane. He understands, and he always has the right words, the right touch. I could live a thousand lives and not deserve him. His is so purely _good_ , that he is not allowed to die. It's almost as bad as Prim dying.

"It would hurt Prim, but that doesn't mean that I love him like _that_."

I don't know, Katniss. I saw your kiss after you got engaged. Friends don't kiss friends like that.

I remember that kiss. It was like the one in the cave. That one felt real, like it was for us. It felt like the world fell away and it was only us. I quickly put an end to that train of thought. ' _I'll think about this a different time'_ I procrastinate.

Prim can sense that I don't want to talk about it, so she just dries of her hands and give me a hug. I wrap my arms around her in return, thankful that I have such and amazing little sister. "I love you, little duck."

 **XxX**

Later that night in bed, I try and sort through my feelings. This is very new to me. I don't purposely pay much attention to my feelings. Firstly, I am confused about Gale and his kiss. He wants to be more than friends, that much he made clear. But how long has he felt like this? How long have I just not noticed? These questions nag at me, but I cannot answer them right now, so I try and focus on how I feel. I decide that I love Gale, but like a brother, a friend. I didn't feel anything when he kissed me, even though we were alone and I was being _me_ , not the Capitol me. Peeta I know is stronger than that, more powerful that just friends. Does that mean I love him, not like a brother or a friend, but like he loves me? If I do, which seems the only logical conclusion, that what do I do with it? Do I tell? How would I even say something like that? We're already getting married, what do I have to lose?

 _Everything._

 **XxX**

I go a few days without seeing Peeta, until he comes to our house with some cheese buns. My favourite. My mother insists that he stay for supper.

After we eat, the TV comes to life with another rerun of him proposing. I see me and Peeta on the screen, him getting down on one knee, pouring out his undying love for me, asking me to marry him. I tear up, nod and kiss him. Peeta mutters something about needing to finish a painting, and runs to his house. I tell mother and Prim that I need to ask him about something, and run after him. Behind me I can hear my mother start to ask me something, telling me to wait, but Prim convincing her that it is important. She's already so smart.

I follow Peeta into his house, closing the door behind me.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I ask, even though I'm already sure I know the answer.

He just shakes his head.

Without thinking I say, "I want it to be real, too."

"What did you say?" he whispers, shocked.

 _No going back now._ I muster up the courage and swallow my fear. "I want us to be real, too." It comes out as a whisper.

I can tell he's about to come over and hold me, doing the right thing as always. But I have to show how I feel, it can't be one sided. So, without too much thought, I close the distance between us and kiss him.

He is shocked at first, and I can't blame him. But he soon wraps his arms around me, and everything else fades into the background. Including any coherent thought I might have. I eventually pull away, my need for air making its self known. Then I bury my neck in his shoulder, chasing away any leftover insecurities about making myself so vulnerable.

He whispers in my ear, "Why can't it be real?"

"It'll all be for the Capitol," I breathe, "We'll have to put on a show, put on our Capitol acts. Even something as personal as a wedding will be foreign, and not for us. It'll be for them." He doesn't respond. He knows that I'm right, but doesn't have a response. So we just stay like that for a long time, holding each other. If I had any doubts, they're gone, chased away by the feeling of this being completely right, natural. Easy as breathing.

I have never done anything good enough to deserve Peeta.

 **A/N: Yay I did it! My first chapter! Again, sorry if it seemed rushed and OOC, but I needed to have this done so I could start into the story. I already have some later chapters written, and I personally love them, so I'm anxious to get to that point in the story. Anyways, please write a review, I would love to read them! Thanks!**

 **~Maddy**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, thank you to anyone who commented, followed, or favourited my story, it means a lot! And second, I probably won't be updating every day like this later on, but right now I'm just really excited for my story! Anyways, thanks again, and hop you like this one!**

Chapter 2

Katniss POV:

I'm not sure how long I stay at Peeta's, but doesn't feel like long enough. When I'm with him, it feels like everything else in the world is put on hold, or disappears altogether. But after what feels like minutes, but must be hours, I realize that my family is probably waiting for me.

"I have to go, Peeta," I reluctantly tell him.

He nod and gives me another kiss before I leave. "Bye."

When I walk into my house, I see my mother waiting at the table for me. "Hello, Katniss."

"Hey mom, sorry I was gone so long, Peeta and I needed to… discus… some things," I tell her.

"It's fine," she responds.

I suddenly think of something. "Mom, at the train station after the Games, you said that I was too young to date. Why did you say that?" I ask her.

She thinks for a bit, trying to put her thoughts into words. "I thought you might want some time to sort out your feelings. Yes, I do think 16 is too young to start to date, but I know that you have seen things that people twice your age would not be able to handle. I trust you to make the right decision."

That was not what I was expecting. Unable to do anything else, I walk over to her, hug her, and whisper a muted thank you.

 **XxX**

The next day, I walk over to Peeta's with some game. I decide that if he can bring over bread, then I should bring some game. And I might also want an excuse to see him.

I knock on the door. Peeta quickly lets me in.

"Katniss?" he asks, hesitant.

"Yes?"

"You said that you wanted us to be real, right?" he questions.

I smile and whisper softly, "Yes."

He nods, and a smile that could only be described as loving crosses his face before the thoughtful look returns.

"What if it could be?" he says, his voice excited.

"What do you mean?" I ask, slowly.

"I mean, what if we got married for real? We could go to the Justice building, sign something, then have the toasting. We'd only invite close family and friends. No one would have to know. I could be real, for us and not the Capitol. Our own little rebellion."

He paint such an amazing picture with those words, that without fulling thinking about it, I say, "Ok."

I'm not sure who makes the first move, but the next thing I know we are holding one another, lips locked. In this embrace, all uncertainty is chased away, leaving behind a glowing happiness that only Peeta can give me.

 **XxX**

As soon as I leave Peeta's house, I tell my mother and Prim. Prim, of course is ecstatic. My mother is happy for me, in her own quiet way. I'm just happy that she is supportive.

Soon after it sinks in, I start to question my decision. In my bed, I'm becoming frantic. Tons of what ifs are swarming around in my head. I calmly tell myself that we'll be getting married anyways, isn't it better that we can do it for us and not the Capitol?

I fall asleep with that thought in my mind.

 **XxX**

3 days later, Peeta and I are officially married. We walk down the steps of the Justice Building, me holding his hand, knowing that he is mine. I like that thought more than I should.

It's still hard for me to process the fact that he is now, legally my husband. _Husband. Wife_. Those words will take some getting used to. I like the way they sound, though. _Katniss Mellark._ That sounds nice, too.

Me and Peeta walk up the steps to his – _our,_ I correct mentally- house. My mother, surprisingly, was the one to suggest me and Peeta moving in together. I need to thank her, she is being very thoughtful. Maybe I've been too harsh on her.

It is very late, almost midnight. We went when we were sure that no one would see us.

We step into the house and go upstairs to get ready for bed, my stuff already there, in our room. _Our room_. That, like so many other things, sounds different. We shared a bed on the Victory Tour, but this feels different, more intimate. And besides, nothing happened on the Victory Tour. I wonder if something will happen tonight. Is he expecting that? Am I expecting that? We never discussed this. Before I go into full blown panic mode, right there in the bathroom, I remind myself that I don't need to be worried, it's just Peeta.

As I step out of the bathroom, wearing an old T-shirt and shorts, I see that Peeta is only wearing sweats. No shirt. I can see his defined muscles. I realize that I've been staring for too long to be considered socially acceptable. I look away, my eyes moving to his face. He thankfully doesn't comment on it.

I lie down on the bed, and he wraps his arms around me, just like we did on the Victory Tour. I realize that I don't need to be worried, Peeta wouldn't take advantage of me, even if we are married. Disappointment courses through me, surprisingly. Did I want to?

Impulsively, I turn around and kiss him. This is one of the most passionate kisses that we have shared. He kisses me back, willing, but confused.

After a couple minutes of this, he realizes that I don't want to stop. He breaks away, breathing hard.

"Katniss? Are you sure?"

I nod swallowing my fear.

I pull him back to me, holding tight, and I glue his lips to mine. I don't ever want to let go.

 **A/N: So I think you know what happens next… I tried to make it as in character as I could. The wedding probably seemed rushed, but they were eloping, in a sense, so I think it works. I really hope that you liked it!**

 **~Maddy**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok, I feel like I need to say this again, so THANK YOU to everyone who has followed, favourited, or reviewed on this fanfic, its super encouraging. When I first uploaded, I was just doing this for me, because I wanted to see what might have happened if things were different in Catching Fire. I never expected anyone to like it, so thank you! Moving on, here is the third chapter!**

Chapter 3

Katniss POV:

The next few weeks continue in a sort of blissful, dream like state. We go and see Prim, my mother and Haymitch. I hunt, he bakes. I'm able to have a real honeymoon with Peeta, something I never dreamed possible.

All too soon, though, the real world comes crashing in. The Quarter Quell announcement. I am reminded that I will have to mentor two poor kids. It might even be someone I know. I will have to watch one, if not bot, of them die. Peeta and I have over my family and Haymitch, who is, of course, drunk. We all get settled into the couches, and the show starts.

Caesar Flickerman is drabbling on about how amazing the Quarter Quell will be, and how lucky Peeta and I are to be mentoring during the Quarter Quell for our first time. _Yes Caesar, just what everyone in Panem wants. To have the privilege of watching children die first hand, and being responsible for two of those children's lives._

President Snow comes on right then, and I start listening. He reminds us all of the Dark Days that gave birth to the Hunger Games. When the law was laid out, it said that every 25 years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell, to keep fresh the reminder of the lives lost. There would be a special rule that would make these Games unique. On the 25th anniversary, as a reminder that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, the each district would have to vote for the two tributes to take part in the Games. I can't even imagine how horrible you would feel, being chosen by your friends, neighbours, to go into an Arena where you would likely be killed. For the 50th anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for every one Capitol citizen, the districts had to send twice as many tributes. Facing 47 as opposed to 23. And yet Haymitch won that year.

"I had a friend that went that year," says my mother, distantly, "Maysilee Donner. Her parents owned the sweet shop. They gave me her songbird after. A canary." Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that Haymitch stiffens at this. I wonder what happened.

"We now celebrate our third Quarter Quell," says President Snow. He opens the yellowed envelope marked 75. "On the 75th anniversary, as a reminder that no one stood up for the victims of the rebellion, no one can volunteer for the selected tributes."

This is no big deal for district 12. No one volunteers here. In the Career districts it is not uncommon, actually quite regular. If this would have happened last year, Prim would have had to fight in that Arena. I grip her hand, thankful that, by some miracle, she is here, and she is safe. Her name is only in there twice. But last year it was in once. Only one time! And she got chosen. I will not be able to protect her this year. No one will.

 **XxX**

Two weeks before the reaping, Haymitch announces that Peeta and I have to start meeting with him to discuss strategy, and basic mentoring stuff.

We insist that it be at our house. I refuse to go into that rats nest more than absolutely necessary.

He walks into our house, for once, detached from his bottle.

He sits down. "Ok, first things first. As soon as you see the tributes, you have to start thinking of angles. Ways to play the Capitol audience. If you have a particularly attractive tribute, the sexy, desirable, heartthrob angle is recommended. They get a lot of sponsors, just look at Finnick Odair. If you have a daunting tribute, strong, well play that to your advantage. Or, if you have an agile tribute, not all that strong looking, but maybe able to throw a knife, something like that, you could pull a Johanna Mason. She won her Games by pretending to be meek, wimpy. The Careers didn't see her as a priority, so after most of the tributes were killed off for her, all she had to do was make a couple kills, and she won. 12-13 year olds, generally use the, innocent, little kid angle. The capitolites feel bad for them, and sponsor them. And finally, something that works for most kinds of tributes is angry, mad, and fierce. It's not used often, so it sets them apart. Most of the tributes try to make the Capitol like them, appeal to them somehow. So this surprises the Capitol when they don't smile, wave, try to get them to like them. Being different holds their attention, and that can lead to sponsors."

I try to process all of that.

He doesn't give me time though, as he moves onto dealing with sponsors, how to decide who to give the items to, what to give, and how to know what's happening 24/7. It'll be easier now, because we can all take shifts, me, Peeta and Haymitch. We decide that I will take the morning, 5 a.m. to 1 p.m., Peeta will take 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. and Haymitch will take 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.

 **XxX**

It's an exhausting week, but by Sunday, Haymitch deems us ready to mentor. I haven't had time to hunt lately, after lunch I decide to go. I take my game bag, grab my father's hunting jacket, pull on my hunting boots and I'm out the door.

I sprint through town to the fence and climb under. I take a deep breath, lungs filling with that familiar, woodsy scent. I have missed this. I walk to the log where I store my bow and arrows, and pull them out.

I loose myself in the familiar routine, and subconsciously, my feet take me to my meeting place with Gale. It's been a long time since I had thought about Gale.

"Hey, Catnip," he says, as if on cue.

I freeze. The last time I saw him, he kissed me. And now I am married to Peeta. Yeah, not awkward at all.

"Hey Gale," I say, somewhat shakily.

"Where've you been? I haven't seen you since you got back," he says sounding hurt, though he tries to disguise it.

"Oh, um, well, uh, you know… mentoring stuff," I stutter, lamely.

"Mentoring stuff," he repeats, his tone disbelieving.

"Yeah, Haymitch has been working us hard, training us."

He nods. I can tell he still doesn't believe me, but he lets it go.

"So. Your engaged," he deadpans.

"No, actually I'm- I-I mean yes." I was about to say, _'_ _No actually I'm married'_. Smart, Katniss.

He thankfully either doesn't notice or doesn't think it's important.

We talk for a while, at ease, and I can pretend that we are the same people who met years ago in the woods. I can pretend that he didn't kiss me, that I didn't go to the Games, that he doesn't care that Peeta and I are married. We talk for what seems like hours.

Suddenly, he leans in. I can tell what's about to happen, and when his lips are just millimetres away, I ball my hand up into a fist, and thrust as hard as I can into his jaw.

"What the heck, Katniss! Why'd you punch me?" he asks, rubbing his jaw. If I weren't so mad, I would be very satisfied by the already red bump on his jaw.

"Don't kiss me!"

"Why not?"

"Because only Peeta's allowed to!"

That must've been the wrong thing to say, because his eyes light up with a blazing fire that I've only ever seen when he's ranting about the Capitol.

"What does he have to do with this? Just because you're pretending to be engaged to him doesn't mean you can't kiss other people. It's only a show!"

That was the wrong thing to say right now. My eyes light up, just like his. _I want him to hurt_. I should feel bad about this thought, but I don't. What right does he have to make assumptions like that!

"IT'S NOT A SHOW!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

He gets that hurt look on his face. I should feel bad. I should want to make him feel better.

I don't.

Instead, I relish it.

I am disturbed by this, but unable to deny it. While I am distracted, Gale lunges at me, and pulls my face roughly to his. I kick and punch and squirm all I can, but he doesn't let go.

When he finally does, he asks, "Now tell me you still love Peeta more than me."

"Of course I do!" I scream.

I can see he won't let up, that he will keep going. As he comes at me, I knee him in the groin.

As he hunches over, I punch him in the face, the same place as last time. When he's down, I kick him. I want to keep going, but if I do, I'm afraid that I won't stop. So instead I run.

I don't know where I'm going, but I know that I'm going away from Gale, and that's a good thing, right?

 **XxX**

I don't know how far I've ran, or for how long when I realize that it's dark. And I should be going back. Peeta will be worried.

I look around. I know which way I came, and how to get back. Though I wasn't paying attention, my hunting senses made sure that I can find my way back. I just don't know how long it will take.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter! I personally had a lot of fun writing Katniss beating up Gale. I recently watched Mockingjay Part II, and I got mad all over again about how Gale made the bombs that killed Prim (I know this technically wasn't proven, but who else could it have been?) and for just leaving Katniss and going to District 2. And that may have leaked into my writing. Oops! Anyways, please comment, I get so excited when I see them! Thanks!**

 **~Maddy**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Once again, thank you! I am loving the reviews, and it's amazing to get these emails saying someone has started following or favouriting my story. I was wanting to write back, but my PMing wasn't working for some reason, so what I've seen some other writers do is just post their replies on the next chapter. So here are my responses!**

 **Butterfly Phantomette- Yeah he so is. It was so fun writing it! ;)**

 **Isane Rose- Thank you! Your reviews are very uplifting! And team Peetniss! Lol. I was thinking about how some say Team Peetniss, and some say Team Everlark. Why doesn't everyone just say Team Peetniss Everlark? Lol**

 **Kimbaleena2002- Yes I know me too! That would have been amazing!**

 **MellarkandArt- Yes her beating him up was my favourite part to write so far!** **J**

 **LACR- Yeah, writing him doing that might've been a little OOC at this point, but I felt like it needed to be done.**

 **Winniew6505- Don't worry, I won't stop writing this. I love it too much!**

 **Ex2See- I know, I feel so bad for her!**

 **XxThe-Crest-Of-AnubisxX- I know, I was so sad! It was so unfair!**

 **I totally don't blame you if you skipped all that! :P**

Chapter 4

Katniss POV:

I have been walking for at least two hours. I have encountered a couple of wild dogs, and shot all of them down. I am immensely grateful that I had my arrows with me. Otherwise, I would be the meat, not the dogs.

I keep walking, and about an hour and a half later, I am at my meeting place with Gale. He has obviously left. I don't really care where to. I have about a fifteen minute walk back to the fence.

When I get there, I see Peeta waiting there anxiously.

"Peeta, what are you-"

I am cut off by his lips crushing into mine.

"Where were you? You were gone for almost 7 hours? I was so worried. I thought something had happened. I was about to go in there to-"

This time he is cut off by me. It is the only way I can think of to shut him up. Not that I mind.

"I'm okay," I tell him. I don't really want to talk about Gale right now. I realize that I am exhausted. An encounter like that and running for as long as I was, I'm just ready to collapse.

Peeta senses this, and without another word, carries me home. The last thing I remember is the gentle swaying of his walk, and the strong, capable arms beneath me.

 **XxX**

 _Gale lunges at me. I slap him, hard. He turns into a huge wolf, with dark hair and seam grey eyes. A scream gets stuck in my throat._

 _'_ _Peeta! Peeta help! Help! PEETA!'_

I wake with a start. I was just a dream, it was just a dream.

It felt so real.

I feel strong arms wrap around me. He holds me for a long time, letting me relax.

"Do you want to talk about it now?" he asks, gently, trying to asses my mood.

Now is as good a time as ever. "Gale tried to kiss me," I say, almost lifelessly.

I can feel him tense up. I know he doesn't like this. "And what did you do?"

"I punched him and ran away."

He slowly nods, understanding why I was out there for so long. "I won't ever let him touch you again."

I nod, thankful.

We stay like that for a while.

Slowly, I turn around and kiss him, washing the memory of Gale's rough lips aggressively on mine, filling my head with Peeta's scent. Peeta is safe.

"I love you," I tell him.

He pulls back and looks at me in surprise. I realize that it is the first time that I have said it, in those words. I have implied it, said things that mean almost the same thing, but I've never said those three words.

"What did you say," he asks, breathless.

"I love you."

"I love you, too,"

We kiss again, and I can tell neither of us want to stop.

So we don't.

 **A/N: Ok, so I know that was a very short chapter, so I'm most likely going to be posting again sometime today or tomorrow. Please review!**

 **~Maddy**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So anyone who has read my story before may have noticed that I deleted chapter 5, 6 and 7. That was mainly because I just didn't like them. The writing was terrible, and the dialogue very stiff. The plot will mainly stay the same, with a few changes. I just wanted a do over. So we start off at the morning of the Reaping. I hope you're not too confused, but I think this will be much better. If you're new, then ignore all that, it won't make any difference to you. Enjoy, please review and all that.**

Chapter 5

Katniss POV:

It's here. It's here and I'm panicking. I thought I had so much time. Now all my time seems to have disappeared, slipped through my fingers. I wake up next to Peeta like I always do, but it's different now, we both know it is. Because we will have to leave our safe bubble of happiness and elation. We will be thrown into a situation where we have to play pretend, be the Capitol Peeta and Katniss. We will have to sit there and train young children to be murderers. We will watch at least one of them die. Likely two. We might even know these people. Prim could be picked. With the admittedly tame Quarter Quell rules, there will be no one there to protect her.

I don't even realize I've started hyperventilating until I feel Peeta's strong arms around me, trying to hold me together. But I feel like I may shatter into a billion pieces at any moment. I hate the feeling of weakness. I hate feeling like I have no control over anything or anyone. I hate not being strong. I hate the Capitol. I hate Snow. I hate so many things, and it's not fair. But neither is life. I used to know that so well. Peeta has softened me. That's good and bad, but right now it's just bad. I feel sick.

Getting dressed and ready is a blur. I have a vague recollection of eating blueberry pancakes that Peeta made, a hazy memory of pulling on a Capitol outfit left for me by Cinna for this very occasion. I think I held on to Peeta for a while, because I feel warm inside. I snap out of whatever daze I'm in once the door opens, and the sharp, cool air shocks my senses. I wrap my arms around my torso, feeling suddenly cold. Cold from the weather, cold from the sense of impending doom that I woke up with. I really do feel sick.

Peeta takes me by the arm, and leads me to the square. It is filled with cameras, terrified children, and concerned parents. I instinctively start to head towards the section for 17-year-olds, but thankfully, Peeta has his wits about him, pulls me towards the mentor's seats.

Right. I'm a mentor now. Happy Hunger Games to me.

I watch with detached sadness as I see the children shuffle to their places, some terrified, some blank, and some angry. I quickly find that I can no longer stay so detached because there's Prim, I see Rory, I've found my old neighbour's son and two daughters, I spot the girl who sat in front of me in class two years ago, I know Madge, and I realize all over again that I know these people, and I could be responsible for their lives.

Peeta squeezes my hand and I know that he agrees, he understands.

Haymitch saunters up to us, slightly less drunk than usual. Maybe the knowledge that he doesn't have to do this alone this year took the edge off a little bit. Suddenly I'm sure I could use a drink too.

"Hello you two. So exciting isn't it? Can't wait to see two more die this year. Happy Hunger Games!" he slurs, his voice dripping with the sarcasm it was drenched in. Peeta and I give identical eye rolls, because it's easier to make fun of the Games than it is to really think about them.

The square gets quiet all of a sudden, and I realize that it's because the mayor is walking up the stage, about to give the same tired speech he gives every year. Except every year I listen with anticipation and fear. Fear for me, fear for Prim, fear for Gale. So much fear. Now I fear for those and other reasons. I fear for letting a tribute die. I fear that it will be my fault. I fear for the sad eyes of their family and friends, the disappointment that is sure to be there when the look at me. I understand why Haymitch is always drunk. I feel sick inside. Outside, too. I think I must be getting a stomach flu.

Soon Effie is prancing up the stage, her heels making a now familiar clip clopping noise. The sound rings throughout the silent square.

I stop paying attention for a bit, and play with Peeta's fingers to distract me, until I hear her saying, "As always, ladies first."

She swirls her hand around in the bowl, making this tiny action much more dramatic than it needs to be. Now all I can think is please not Prim. I can't do anything this year, even if I wasn't a victor. I'm so intent on my begging to no one, that I almost miss her pulling out the slip. She pulls out two, and drops one back in.

"Raileigh Southwood"

The owner of the name is a small girl from the twelve year old section. She has dark brown hair that is pulled up in a ponytail, and familiar seam grey eyes. Of course I got a twelve year old. A child, another Rue to watch die. Another child's death on my hand. I fully expect her to cry once she gets up on stage, but she walks up, incredibly calm, flashing anger and worry in her big eyes. She stands up there, almost defiantly, if anyone could consider standing to be defiant. I hear multiple wails erupt around the square, presumably her younger siblings.

I look over at Peeta and see sadness, anger and worry reflecting in his bright blue eyes. We share a look, and we both know that she may never see her family again. We look away once that horrible realization sinks in.

Effie has moved on to the boys bowl, prancing like she didn't just ensure the death of someone's daughter, of someone's sister. I want to be mad at her, but I know that even if she wasn't here, someone would still be up there. The person I should be mad at is Snow.

Once again, Effie stirs her hand around in the bowl, deciding who will get to die, or become a murderer. Her hand finally decides on a slip of paper, and she reads out "Everett Clayton."

A boy walk confidently walks forward out of the 15-year-old section. He looks far older than 15. He's way more muscular than anyone would expect any 15-year-old to be. The way he carries himself painfully reminds me of Thresh. He look as intimidating and angry as Thresh always seemed to be. He is very obviously from the Seam as well, with dark hair, olive skin, and sharp grey eyes.

My tributes are Thresh and Rue. I feel as if I've been punched in the gut. Memories wash over me and I see Rue's curly black hair fanned around her head, as she asks me to sing to her. I see the flowers that I wove into her hair. I see the little girl, the singer, the one who looked as if she were going to fly away at any moment. I see the sister, the oldest, I see her smile. I see the little girl I couldn't save. And I can't fail again, because I owe it to her this time. I can't let another parent loose a precious child. I don't know Raileigh, but I knew Rue, and I know that despite how much I wish and promise, there is little to no chance of her ever making it out of there.

I must have been lost in my memories of Thresh and Rue for a while, because next thing I know, Peeta's pulling me up from my chair, and I see how shaken he is, and I realize how tough this is for him. I am mad at myself for not being there for him, because I need to be strong so he can be too. We lead each other to the Justice Building so we can say our goodbyes while the tributes say theirs.

We don't need to talk to know that we will say our to our families together, because sometimes its just easier not to leave each other, and now is one of those times.

Prim and my mother come. Peeta's father and his brothers, Rye and Taftan are here too. His mother stops in, and the only thing that keeps me rooted to my chair is Peeta's hand, because all I can think about is the horrible mark on Peeta's face that day in the rain. I decide I hate her, too, for hurting him. How _she_ raised such a kind and amazing person, I will never know. I relax much more once she leaves to tend to the bakery.

I'm comfortable here, with my family and my in-laws, and Peeta. I'm surrounded by warmth, and I feel content. That feeling is quickly broken once a Peacekeeper stops in to inform Peeta and I that it is in fact, time to go. There is hugging as we leave, and Capitol cameras once we step onto the platform.

And just like that, our Capitol masks are back, and we are their puppets again.


End file.
